Back when I started working with people on a personal level, as a friend… and then later, as an addictions counselor, I spent a lot of time early in the conversation discussing the foundation on how to get better results in life.
The title I gave the process was simply The Reverse Rabbit Hole…as they found themselves at the bottom of it NOT getting the results they wanted.
So let me share this with you…I think you’ll dig it.
So here we are, you’re struggling with something (let’s say addiction or some other funk in life) and back when you were in 1st or 2nd grade, when someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up…let me guess, it was PROBABLY NOT this. Smiles on both sides usually happened at this point.
Here’s a version of the image I’d draw during this discussion…I’d typically draw circles and start with the letting R on the right side, then draw arrows going ‘backwards up the results rabbit hole.’ The stage is set…now let’s get at it.
So, starting from the right, going to the left… What comes before Results? So that we might see if that step will allow us to cause a change in result(s).
Action comes before results. You know, the stuff you did do that you shouldn’t have…or the stuff you shouldn’t have done, that you did…or that time when no action was the best course to take.
Anyways….. So, just change your actions and you’ll get different results!!!! Right? Wrong…there’s more to it.
If it were that easy, you wouldn’t be reading this, and the world of coaches, mentors, etc would be out of business.
Ok, so what comes before actions?
Thoughts and feelings. You think about something a certain way then you feel a certain way, which leads to your taking an action (or not).
Ok, so JUST change your thoughts and feelings, which will then allow you to change your actions, then you can have different results!!!
Right? Wrong…there’s more to it.
So this is as DEEP down the rabbit hole I could dig to get at the root of change. There are three Ps, the middle one is the biggest but the very first small one is called PAUSE. If you can’t pause, even briefly, prior to that T/F/A/R loop to kick in, you have little to no shot at changing that pattern. As you may have noticed in life, you keep getting presented similar situations and you typically respond in the same way whether you like the outcome or not…it just triggers a response/reaction.
The big P that I want to sell you on is this: Your Perspective! Your insight, your view, etc. When you EXPAND your perspective…at that point you may be able to think and feel differently about a situation which will allow you to possibly take a more skillful action, or none at all. And when you can begin to do this…you can start getting different results in life.
The third P in this drawing stands for a ‘peaceful’ or prayerful setting. I encourage daily or at least very regular mindfulness/meditation, perspective enhancing exercise. Your ability to develop this skill will begin to emerge in your day to day world. This exercise is worth it.
So now that I have you possibly sold on the idea that you need to enhance your perspective after pausing…to begin this process of getting different results…you might be saying: “Great Mitchell, I”m sold on the idea that I need to enhance my view…so how exactly do I do that?!”
I’m glad you asked…as that’s what I cover in this next drawing in much greater detail. If you’d like the video instruction on how to do this, simply enter your email (then go confirm it) and I’ll send you directly to my next part of this training.
You’re going to love this.